10. Sit naked for an hour in giant tub of Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

9. Caress old Mike Schmidt mustache clippings.

8. Call Pete Rose--see what the line is on the game.

7. Kiss all 200 of my cuddly, adorable Beanie Babies.

6. Smoke one of those weird cigarettes Allen Iverson gave me.

5. Wolf down burritos I shoplifted from local Wawa.

4. Sing Boyz II Men song "I'll Make Love to You" over stadium P.A. system.

3. Run through stadium parking lot snapping off antennas.

2. Learn what not to do by watching tape of Mets game.

1. Go rough up some snot-nosed Swarthmore punks.