10. Loses autographed photo of Sara Lee
9. During 5-day forecast, forgets how to point
8. Has no mouth in a world where everything is made of waffles
7. He's chased around darkened studio by Gene Shalit's homicidal mustache
6. He's Santa at the NBC Christmas party and Willard won't get off his lap
5. Temporarily unable to say, "Here's what's going on in your neck of the woods"
4. Hellish apocalypse consumes mankind and he only predicted 20% chance of apocalypse
3. He's a balloon in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and a little boy pops him with a pin
2. Where in the world is Matt Lauer? In bed with Mrs. Roker
1. Somebody finds out "Al" is short for "Alice"
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 11/01/1999