10. Attributed his intelligence to eating nothing but Fritos

9. Most famous formula: "Professional wrestling + sitting naked on sofa = fun"

8. Hosted failed game show, "Win Einstein's Money"

7. Once sat atop a billboard for 10 straight days to win Black Sabbath tickets

6. Theory of relativity inspired by malt liquor-fueled sex-a-thon at Hef's mansion

5. Mathematically proved impossibility of Hillary becoming senator

4. Whenever anyone did something dumb, he'd say, "Nice going, me."

3. Faked his own death, shaved his mustache and today goes by the name Merv Griffin

2. Copied "E=MC2" from Chinese kid who sat next to him in physics class

1. His older brother Gary -- now there's a smart guy