10. Eat more paint.

9. Remove glass from TV screen, crawl through into "Baywatch."

8. Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

7. Check on Eggos buried in backyard; see if "waffle tree" has grown yet.

6. I's gonna build me a spaceship!

5. Lose every pound of weight.

4. Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.

3. Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

2. Oh who am I kidding, if it looks like candy -- it's candy.

1. Learn what the hell "resolution" means.