10. When the missus uses my hat to make potato salad.

9. When that smartass Sherlock Holmes makes us look bad.

8. Hat jackings (videotape of Bobby's hat being stolen).

7. The way these tall hats make your hair grow like Lyle Lovett.

6. Letterman and his damn speeding!

5. People who mix you up with that Bobbitt fellow.

4. It's bloody difficult to get Dunkin Donuts over here.

3. Guys who eat pork chops for breakfast.

2. When the queen gooses you and you can't do a bloody thing about it.

1. Yank chat shows and their bloody rotten jokes.