10. Freshest meat in town because they shoot it right before your eyes.

9. Bulletproof lobster bibs.

8. Mandatory seven-day waiting period between ordering dinner and dessert.

7. Tip over 20 percent, get complimentary frisking by waitress.

6. Monday night is Ladies Night, and by ladies we man "guys too sissy to carry loaded weapons."

5. All waiters named "Smith" or "Wesson."

4. Eric Clapton guitar they stole at gunpoint from Hard Rock Cafe.

3. Movie memorabilia from such stars as Charlton Heston...and Charlton Heston.

2. If cook screws up your order, put a cap in his ass!

1. Bar sells both kinds of Colt .45.