10. Fat guys who say, "Lotion me"
(from Jones Beach, Michael Gaudi)

9. People who assume just because you're wearing a bathing suit you know how to swim
(from Field 2 Beach, Julie Hahn)

8. Looks from commuters when you get on subway in trunks and a whistle
(from Manasquan Beach, Dave Jordan)

7. Guys who pretend to be drowning because they enjoy the mouth-to-mouth
(from Seven Presidents Ocean Front Park Beach, Michelle Kantor

6. Guys who pretend to be drowning because they enjoy the mouth-to-mouth
(from Central Mall Beach, Bob Lenti)

5. Constantly having to remind Letterman it ain't a nude beach
(from Field 4 beach, Steve DeCastro)

4. If you let someone drown, they make you work weekends
(from Robert Moses Beach, Ino Puig)

3. Narrow-minded lifeguards who just can't accept your relationship with the CPR dummy
(from Bradley Beach, Stephen Fowler)

2. When you get right down to it, not many people really look good in a bathing suit
(from Zach's Bay Beach, Tara Wilson)

1. A depressed, overweight David Hasselhoff keeps asking for a job
(from Long Branch Beach, Curtis Fox)