10. Trapped greenhouse gasses make you pleasantly lightheaded

9. Now maybe animals will abandon the cruel practice of wearing fur

8. Hockey players tripping in slush makes hilarious Marv Albert sports blooper

7. Fewer guys walking around making annoying "Brrr" sound

6. Ed Sullivan Theater will not be affected

5. Can sue Mars Company because M&Ms now melt in your hands

4. Less money spent on heating oil equals more money to spend on pay-per-view wrestling

3. You know the 5-day forecasts when they show the sun wearing sunglasses? I love that

2. "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" replaced by simple, desperate "Water"

1. Which would you rather see -- Heidi Klum in a parka or Heidi Klum in a swimsuit?