10. You get to help troubled airline industry by buying two tickets on Southwest Airlines

9. Everyone knows hottest new fashions hit plus-sized stores first

8. Your Greek wedding in guaranteed to be even bigger and fatter

7. You can gain, like, 100 pounds without anybody noticing

6. Never get called hurtful names like "string bean" or "average-weight guy"

5. Guaranteed as many appearances on "Ricki" as you want

4. Many famous movie stars are obese, such as... Hey look, a donut

3. How many people can say they're visible from space?

2. Hey, at least you're not fat (dumb obese people only)

1. Your heart does more by 9am than most people's do all day