10. "To do for politics what I did for acting"

9. "Combine the intelligence of George Bush with the sexual appetite of Clinton"

8. "A heaping tablespoon of Joe Weider's 'Dynamic Body Shaper' in every pot"

7. "Every freeway gets a dedicated car chase lane"

6. "Seek advice from elder political statesmen like Jesse Ventura"

5. "Crack down on schools graduating students who can't bench-press 180 pounds"

4. "Solemnly swear to support the Constitution of Gold's Gym"

3. "Goofiest-named governor since Pataki"

2. "Raise the minimum age for dating Demi Moore"

1. "Speak directly to the voters in clear, honest, broken English"