10. You got a problem? The CBS "Family" takes care of it

9. The strong, understanding hands of Mr. Charles Kuralt

8. Doesn't have foul-smelling disease-carrying bird mascot

7. When Angela Lansbury fixes your outboard motor, it stays fixed

6. Chance to see Harry Smith naked in CBS sauna

5. Have Canadian music director that looks just like our old one

4. Candice Bergen curses like a sailor at company retreat

3. Three out of every five male employees named "Morley"

2. Whole nation touched by the heartfelt attempt of Dan Rather and Connie Chung to have a baby

1. Executives are much more advanced form of weasel