10. String lights on Al Gore

9. Pentagon scientists bring over a few of their genetically engineered elves.

8. Official reception for all new Clinton brothers discovered during past year

7. Send Christmas card with photograph of family having a great time in White House to George and Barbara Bush.

6. Special Hillbilly Santa with stringy beard and sack full of possum

5. Instead of burning a Yule log, they set fire to bundles of tax dollars.

4. Marine choir sings "Silent Night," while Senator Kennedy chugs bowl of egg nog.

3. One lucky elf gets to spend the night with Hillary.

2. Santa Packwood begs staff secretaries to sit on his lap.

1. Two words: Tipper nog.