10. Has been eating nothing but Slim Jims and Gatorade

9. Every time the U.S. wins a medal, he takes off another article of clothing.

8. Asks each of his guests, "Who's fatter, me or Bryant?"

7. The parrot and eye patch

6. Signed a long-term contract with CBS Sports

5. Invested millions in line of soups called Greg Gumbo

4. Signs off each night with "Take that, you Norwegian bastards!"

3. Drank quart of Old Milwaukee and tried to extinguish Olympic torch

2. Officially changed name to Greg Gumbel-Gillooly

1. Keeps proposing to my mom