10. Simple team rule: No hits. No pancakes.

9. Set goals lower and try to make Little League World Series

8. Curry favor with umpire by helping him make huge profit in cattle futures

7. Chewing tobacco with steroids

6. Get rid of Darryl Strawberry

5. Bench entire team, give bat to trained monkey

4. Maximum two arrests per season for all players

3. Hire ghost of Ty Cobb to hang around dugout and give out kicks in the ass

2. Throw opposing pitcher off his game by using F-word 13 times

1. Across-the-board 25% reduction in sucking