10. Instead of a whistle, uses a tuba

9. Can't say the word "buoy" without laughing hysterically

8. You see him stuffing his trunks with jellyfish

7. Sits with back to the ocean

6. Just married a C.P.R. dummy

5. The gold crown and the flowing velvet cape

4. Sees a guy drowning and says, "sorry, pal -- I just ate lunch, so I've got to wait half an hour."

3. Breakfast, lunch and dinner -- chlorine

2. She keeps breaking into David Hasselhoff's house.

1. He's wearing nothing but a whistle.