10. You spend a lot of your time trying to apprehend Big Macs.

9. You have two holsters: One for your gun, one for Italian Sausage.

8. The last time you saw your feet, "Kojak" was on in prime time.

7. Instead of yelling "Freeze!," you yell "Fritos!"

6. Even patrol car's big block engine can't propel you more than 30 mph.

5. You sometimes work undercover as a sofa.

4. You take the phrase "Take a bite out of crime" too literally.

3. Several times a year, rescue workers have to use jaws of life to get you out of your squad car.

2. Your ass is known as the fourth precinct.

1. You're frequently used as a roadblock.