10. Where's the remote control?

9. The shows are funnier if you're drunk.

8. Now we suck as much as Fox.

7. C.B.S.: Come Back Suckers

6. You could win a chance to father Murphy Brown's next baby.

5. The CBS eye knows what you look like naked.

4. We blew our wad on Late Show boy.

3. Tonight might be the night Dan and Connie do it.

2. Watch us, and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman will write you a prescription for the drug of your choice.

1. You can't spell CBS without BS.