10. Insist on taking the oath with your right hand on his beard

9. Point out that in Spanish "Judge Ito" means "Little Judge"

8. Introduce him to one of the Jackson family just so you can say: "Tito, Ito...Ito, Tito"

7. Pull robe over head. Spin. Push into street.

6. Tell him you thought he was great as Sulu on the old Star Trek

5. Keep calling his private phone number, ask to speak to Doug Llewellyn

4. Ask if you could have a conjugal visit with HIM

3. Put sugar in the gas tank of the lancemobile

2. Ask permission to have a television camera in his pants

1. Call him "Judge Beardo"