10. Appointed his hairpiece deputy mayor

9. Actually tried eating one of those street vendor hot dogs

8. Confessed to having a long-term affair with a Tenth Avenue pothole

7. Officially changed his name to Mayor McCheese

6. Thought sending the standby audience to The Gap was a good idea

5. Has vowed to "bomb Brooklyn back to the Stone Age"

4. Gracie Mansion now called "Melrose Place East"

3. Takes midnight strolls through Harlem in his underpants

2. Has ordered giant sculpture of himself next to Statue of Liberty with his hand on her ass

1. His new housekeeper? Rosa Lopez