10. Is seeking endorsement deal with Castro Convertibles

9. Includes a second-by-second account of his entire fifteen minutes of fame

8. Receives $100 royalty check every times someone says, "dude -- mind if I crash here?"

7. Attended Harvard, where he earned a "Bachelor of Houseboy Arts"

6. Most California forest fires sparked by his poorly-grounded blow-dryer

5. He sometimes works as a Kathie Lee impersonator

4. During court appearance, thought he was testifying against Pauly Shore

3. Claims Marcia Clark stole her new hairstyle from him

2. Recently been crashing at "La Casa de Fung"

1. He's actually the third Menendez brother!