10. Why pay seven bucks to see boozing and adultery when you can watch Democrats for free?

9. No Academy Award for grouchiest Senator

8. Not enough Fonzie

7. In "Don Juan DeMarco," Marlon Brando shows way to much cleavage

6. Those "Baywatch" babes never seem to get it on with conservative old coots

5. Why couldn't Gump shake hands with a Senate Majority Leader instead of President Kennedy?

4. Casper the Friendly Ghost? more like "Casper the Bare-Ass Naked Ghost!"

3. Gets sick to stomach watching Letterman at the concession stand (VT of Dave)

2. Dumb and Dumber was clearly propaganda for the Clinton/Gore ticket

1. That creepy Richard Simmons guy (Richard busts in and takes card)