10. Special chip to make Newt look like he's got food in his teeth

9. Scratch n' sniff TV screens

8. Show about lame duck president who moves in with those "Models, Inc." chicks

7. Lookie here, how's about tryin' some shows in color?

6. Let Janet Reno go on "American Gladiators" and kick the living crap out of Nitro

5. When you hit "eject" on your VCR, fried dough comes out

4. More meat and nudity

3. Just once, have a "Jeopardy" contestant say, "What is Bubba?"

2. Every few minutes, flash subliminal picture of Bob Dole getting into Hugh Grant's car

1. Three words: the Hee-Haw Channel