10. Misread brochure about advantages of first class

9. Confused when steward asked for headset deposit

8. Went nuts after learning they were out of chicken almondine

7. Though he heard somebody yell, "We're going to crash!" and that was just something he always wanted to do before he died

6. Hoping to impress aloof blonde English woman in 2-D

5. Had already used airphone to call everyone he knew

4. You try drinking for 14 hours and see if you can tell the difference between a food cart and a bathroom

3. All part of an elaborate plan to intimidate the real killers

2. His ass wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment

1. Oh, like you've never done it