10. Eat plenty of rock salt

9. Fill your snowblower with jet fuel and ride the bastard to Palm Beach!

8. Clear snow off driveway with just one scalding hot cup of McDonald's coffee

7. Two words: Duraflame underpants

6. Always have plenty of kindling, like the Late Show Book of Lists, only 16 dollars at

5. Drink a jug of antifreeze, crawl under the couch, and sleep till July

4. No matter how bad the blizzard, don't let yourself get talked into doing lame comedy segment

3. For current weather updates call All Roker at home at 212-975-6401

2. If you absolutely must go out and kill people, wear a warm black watchcap and Isotoner gloves

1. Flannel condoms from L.L. Bean