10. Turn flabby white thighs into flabby tan thighs

9. Fire up barbecue with shredded Whitewater documents

8. Stop flip-flopping on foreign policy and start flip-flopping some burgers!

7. On camping trip, teach Chelsea how to deep-fry marshmallows

6. Enjoy romantic weekend getaway at Hilton Head...then return home to Hillary

5. Check socks for ticks

4. Check Roger for ticks

3. Spend some time at Bob Dole's summer house

2. Request confidential FBI files on entire cast of "Baywatch"

1. Instead of fries with ketchup, fries with sunblock