10. Stuffing the turkey with shredded Whitewater documents

9. Bill filp-flops for hours over whether he wants white meat ordark meat

8. They break the wishbone, and Hillary wishes to stay out ofprison

7. George Stephanopoulos scampers around under the table begging forscaps

6. After the meal, the President unbuttons his pants, and also thoseof several female staffers

5. At least a dozen people pass out from too much "HillbillyPunch"

4. They fill the Oval Office with mashed potatoes, and Bill has toeat his way out

3. Instead of slaughtering the turkey, they have Al Gore bore it todeath

2. At about 3:00 a.m., Bill places a call to "The Happy PilgrimEscort Service"

1. They all thank God they're not the Doles