10. Nail that new Secretary-of-State chick

9. Make history as first President to veto a bill while up to his chin in gravy

8. Ignore Hillary next time she gets a "hot real estate tip"

7. Do his best to see that the National Anthem is changed to that "Welcome Back, Kotter" song

6. Outlaw the New York Jets

5. Appear on "Baywatch," get mouth-to-mouth from Yasmine Bleeth

4. Less waffling, more waffles!

3. Find out why Melissa Etheridge doesn't respond to his advances

2. Allocate funds to establish a National Institute of Lap-Dancing

1. Lose 125 pounds: Hillary