10. His chest protector has large silicone implants.

9. Cleans home plate with his tongue.

8. The first batter has worked the count up to 46 balls, 29 strikes.

7. Makes own face mask out of bubble wrap and duct tape.

6. Was seen checking into Motel 6 with the Philly Phanatic.

5. Three small and very telling words: wears a cape.

4. Keeps running up to fat guys in the stands and yelling, "Babe Ruth! You're alive!"

3. Insists that "baseball fever" is the cause of that weird rash onhis back

2. Whenever he sees a player adjusting himself, shouts, "Ball two!"

1. Long after game has ended, he's still squatting.