10. Girls who won't date him just because he's a ruthless homicidal lunatic.

9. Left his favorite sweatshirt in Kuwait.

8. When mom calls him "Saddamy" in front of his friends.

7. New Jenny McCarthy show not living up to the hype.

6. When he catches himself cheating at solitaire and has to cut off his own hand.

5. Not even a mention at the GQ Man of the Year Awards.

4. With recent defections, "Iraqi Army" now just three guys and a Super-Soaker.

3. Being classified as a "madman" makes your auto insurance rates go sky high.

2. Sex with his wife is always, "Wham, bam, thank you Saddam."

1. Four words: sand in his moustache.