10. "Stockbroker, stockbroker, please don't jump off my balcony."

9. "Gotta sing. Gotta dance. Got a rabbid ferret in my pants."

8. "I've got a dream. A glorious dream. Involving four metermaids and a can of whipped cream."

7. "Summertime...and I'm covered in deer ticks."

6. "I got herpes, lots of herpes, filthy herpes, who could ask for anything more."

5. "Hideki Irabu, you're my favorite Japanese Yankee."

4. "There's something funny goin' down, and the Kool-Aid's goin' round, there in Jonestown."

3. "Ol' Dan Rather. A trusted newsman who worships Satan all day long."

2. "'The Late Shift' by Bill Carter is a crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy book."

1. "What I did for Bubba."