10. Charitable contribution to New York Knicks

9. Hundreds of D-cell batteries used to power Paul Shaffer

8. Alimony to my ex-wife, Carmen Electra

7. The fifty bucks a year I send Mom

6. Dry cleaning of guest chair after visits by Richard Simmons

5. Sponsoring the Late Show monster truck

4. Medical expenses to remove "Melrose Forever" tattoo

3. Disaster relief for nightly comedy

2. $80,000 to win date with JFK, Jr. at charity auction

1. Gifts and entertainment for Connecticut State Troopers