10. "It's Like An Episode of 'Cops' On Ice!"

9. "See For Yourself What Canadian Blood Looks Like"

8. "The 'H' Is For 'Hematoma'"

7. "It's Like Watching Really, Really Primitive Dentistry"

6. "A Sport That Combines Your Two Favorite Things -- Ice Skating and Head Trauma"

5. "You Can't Spell 'Unhealthy' Without 'NHL'"

4. "Share The Excitement, Or We'll Beat Your Brains In With a Piece of Wood"

3. "We Injure More People By 9pm Than Pro Football Does All Year"

2. "Don't Worry, Kids -- They're Just Saying 'Puck'"

1. "He Shoots, He Scars"