10. Every time you undress, wife shouts, "Aaaand they're off!"

9. Not one laundry detergent promises to remove horse stink

8. Really wanting to wear dorky yellow shirt, but having to wear dorky pink shirt instead

7. Patrick Ewing makes $15 million, and I'm a way better jockey than him

6. When you spend your whole life around horses you can't help but feel a little...inferior

5. Chafing

4. No one wants to be the guy riding a horse named "Fair Lady of the Tulips"

3. Nagging fear if you sprain your ankle, they might shoot you

2. Constant flow of giggling, sex-crazed groupies gets old after a while

1. Too much mint, not enough julep