10. When boss says you can't go home till you find a Pat Buchanan voter

9. Response sheet has boxes for "yes" and "no" -- but not "bite me"

8. Every Christmas, the same gift from Gallup: a crappy Radio Shack calculator

7. Looking at pie charts all day makes you really, really hate pie

6. Whenever he slips in the polls, George W. Bush threatens to have you executed

5. The hourly calls from Nader asking, "Am I winning yet?"

4. Knowing after November 7th, only question you'll be asking is, "Regular or unleaded?"

3. Letterman always answers the door naked

2. When wife complains about your "5% margin of error"

1. All them numbers is confusin'