10. "Can't get premium channels in the cave, only basic cable"

9. "New laundry guy using too much starch on my turbans"

8. "I wash and wash and wash, but at the end of the day I still smell like a camel"

7. "You try to remember four wedding anniversaries"

6. "Itchy beard"

5. "With Giambi, the Yankees are going to win another four damn World Series!"

4. "You just can't trust those unfaithful Pashtun tribesmen, am I right, people?"

3. "MTV never plays videos anymore"

2. "Mullah Omar answers the phone, 'Yello'"

1. "What the hell do I have to do to get on 'Oprah'?"