10. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're telling me the lowest score wins?"

9. "I was up late the night before celebrating my inevitable victory"

8. When he heard winner didn't get snazzy green jacket said, "Screw this"

7. Frustrated by Nike's on-going refusal to promote him

6. Too much haggis

5. Distracted by caddy's windblown kilt

4. Exhausted from winning Wimbledon

3. When a guy gets a Swedish girlfriend, suddenly golf ain't the most important thing in the world

2. "According to metric system I lost, but by regular American scorekeeping I kicked ass"

1. Thrown off by Ernie Els pre-match threat, "I'm gonna eat your children!"