10. Dan Rostenkowski's public relations guy

9. Mopping up at the gym after "Sweatin' to the Oldies" class

8. Ed Asner's lotion boy

7. Consumer testing Dr. Kevorkian's suicide slurpee

6. Hockey player for the Vancouver Canucks after they lose to the Stanley Cup-winning New York Rangers

5. Sunoco gasoline taster

4. Assistant to clumsy janitor who works in the research lab studying that flesh-eating virus

3. Babysitting the Menendez Brothers

2. ZZ Top beard de-tangler

1. The guy who checks Ebert for ticks