10. Didn't want game 5, we're going to see "Batman Forever"

9. Sometimes being so tall makes your kinda dizzy

8. Can't prove it, but pretty sure one of the refs was a brother of one of the Rockets or something

7. Too busy tying yellow ribbons 'round old oak trees (that's a Tony Orlando excuse)

6. Couldn't concentrate after hearing Michael and Lisa Marie actually do it

5. In a perfect world, Connie still would be doing CBS News

4. Ran out of Gatorade and had to use bugs and rain water

3. Anfernee Hardaway didn't score enough bafkets

2. Yeah, like we want to go to the White House and get our ass shot at

1. What do we care, we're already in Disneyworld!