10. Losing money on "D-Cup of Coffee"

9. Failure of joint venture with Disney called "Euro-Hooters"

8. Instead of ordering, customers just sit there fondling their dinner rolls

7. People keep screaming, "If this is Hooters, where are the damn Blowfish?!"

6. Workers' compensation claims way up for halter rash

5. Environmentalists complaining about the spotted owl fritters

4. Macy's Thanksgiving Parade wouldn't approve giant inflated breast balloon

3. Clinton hiring away waitresses as advisors (VT of Clinton with girls)

2. A certain customer keeps staring at the waitress's chest claiming he's "searching for the real killers"

1. Two words: sagging profits