10. Our uniforms kept getting caught on Dennis Rodman's nosering

9. Can't prove it, but we're pretty sure our basket was a lot smaller than their basket

8. Clinton must have given the Bulls our secret FBI files

7. Still upset about Julie Andrews getting snubbed at the Tonys

6. Uninspiring performance by new cheerleader

5. Whole team still getting over shock that Madonna is having a non-NBA baby

4. Those championship rings are a little fruity

3. If we won, we'd get hundreds of calls from people offering us huge endorsement deals -- what a pain in the ass!

2. Shouldn't have had that halftime pep talk by Dr. Kevorkian

1. Michael Jordan? We thought we were playing against Michael Jackson!