10. He isn't used to fighting for more than 37 seconds at a time

9. Was still emotionally fragile from seeing the new Streisand movie

8. Should have waited until after the fight to fill up on rich, chocolaty Ovaltine

7. His cut man: Dr. Kevorkian

6. Instead of giving advice between rounds, trainer tried to give him a lap-dance

5. Thought it would be easy to pound the crap out of any guy named "Evander"

4. Should have found more challenging sparring partner than Angela Lansbury

3. On a dare, he went the entire 11 rounds with an angry ferret in his trunks

2. Just seconds before fight began, received a stunning electric jolt from Don King's hair

1. Turns out he wasn't ready to rumble