10. Thought the guys said, "Could you please kick me in the groin?"

9. His sneaker was attracted by powerful electomagnet hidden in guy's pants

8. He was just auditioning for the Rockettes

7. Two words: he's nuts

6. Wanted to do his part to end over-population

5. Saw deadly black widow spider on guy's lap

4. After intense soul-searching and several sessions with a psychoanalyst, believes he did it to get attention

3. Promised little boy in hospital he'd kick a guy in the groin for him

2. It wasn't me -- it was that bastard Michael Irvin!

1. P.M.S.