10. Stop drinking in the den, start drinking on the porch

9. Catch every Lollapalooza show on the Eastern seaboard

8. Climb the treacherous north face of Al Roker

7. Buy a summertime straw hat for my pet goat, Lorraine

6. Start my own website: www.Oprah-forever.com

5. Eat some bad shrimp and spend July face-down in the driveway

4. Make my annual pilgrimage to Dollywood

3. Realize dream of becoming first man to drive cross-country on a riding mower

2. A can of paint, a six-pack of Miller, and Farrah

1. Take down the Christmas lights