10. Double cheeseburgers and triple bypasses

9. Come watch old people work for minimum wage

8. The Burger King? Gay as an order of curly fries

7. Over 200 billion sold, mostly to fat guys with bad skin

6. A little bit of a clown in every bite

5. Hey - It's better than prison food

4. When you're arteries are just too damn clean

3. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese...ah, screwit - eat at Wendy's!

2. It's pretty damn tasty for horse meat

1. Where's the contaminated beef?