Did you hear about the guy who drove his Ford Chevy truck into the lake?
It sank... like a rock!
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Will Yolen "Proclaim yourself 'World Champ' of something- tiddly-winks, rope-jumping, whatever- send this notice to newspapers, radio, TV, and wait for challengers to confront you. Avoid challenges as long as possible, but continue to send news of your achievements to all media. Also, develop a newsletter and letterhead for communications."