You know your a redneck if you're playing soccer and you say ''I hit my two best balls today... with a rake.''
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David Letterman "Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
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