What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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David Letterman "Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
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