Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only two, but I don't know how they got in there!
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Will Yolen "Proclaim yourself 'World Champ' of something- tiddly-winks, rope-jumping, whatever- send this notice to newspapers, radio, TV, and wait for challengers to confront you. Avoid challenges as long as possible, but continue to send news of your achievements to all media. Also, develop a newsletter and letterhead for communications."